Snow.

I’m sore, and I am getting worse as time passes on. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

I mean, I snowboarded all day on Saturday. I woke up sore on Sunday and proceeded to sit my ass down for the entire day on Sunday, but I woke up sorer today? By this logic, I work out – get sore. I sit on my ass- get sore. Shouldn’t I be receiving the same type of fitness benefits for sitting and working out? It makes sense to me.

We left on Friday afternoon in dreary weather to be greeted with Sunshine and ice-bit air on Friday evening. I soon discovered that there are essentially two kinds of snow weather. The snow weather in April and the snow weather in January. We’re talking a 20- 30 degree difference!!

I wore sweats, three layers, snow pants, snow jacket, gloves, and wool socks (thanks to ash!), and you walked outside –insta bone freeze. So, note to self – get thermals. Really, get your own cloths beverley. Some day – when I’m rich and famous.

Ashley is much better than me. She has been trying to teach me a few skills, but I don’t listen. I just barrel down the hill screaming and hope that I don’t crash into the lodge. Luckily, I didn’t take anyone else. As long as you don’t count getting off the lift because I did take Ash out twice, and I held on to some stranger’s arm and made him take me to the top of the bunny slope. Thanks dude.

Learning to snowboard is so discouraging, but it can be fun…. Until the hotshots come out to play on the bunny slope, and they come so close to you and kick snow in your face, so, you fall flat on your ass, again. That’s alright hotshot you snowboard down as fast as you can, but you’re 10…. After this, I’m gonna drive home and drink a beer. So THERE!

Snow!

So, I'm heading to the snow this weekend.

I usually go once a year with Ash, and we usually go towards the end of the season where there are lots and lots and lots of ice to cushion my toosh.

This time, we're going in the midst of a blizzard.

I am trying not to jinx it or panic, but it's not looking good out there. It has started raining, and it has not stopped! EEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!

I called Pash around 11am and I said, "I never said I love you this morning, and just in case I die, I want you to know that I love you. Ok, that's it."

He thinks I'm crazy, but I'm not.

Ha

I almost killed a pedestrian today.

And if I had, he would have TOTALLY deserved it! I’m serious…

I’m juggling so many balls these days, and it’s causing the huge amounts of stress. This morning I woke up with a laundry list of items that I must accomplish before I get to work today:
I had to pack stuff for the snow, fit it in the car, realize that it’s gonna show in the car so I can’t have it on the street all day, so I have to drive to work, where am I going to park?, oh, don’t forget the sewing machine, then I have to make sure I have my resume and my headshot, my make –up, directions to the new audition location, send my homework in on time, and coffee!! BRING THE COFFEE!

Once I finally settled into the car, feeling extremely aggravated, I drove off to work with my friend and her sister in the car. We were headed down Columbus Street, it’s 8:00am in the morning, we’re amongst the San Francisco commuter traffic and some little dude begins to stroll into the traffic. ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!?!

Seriously, dude, you can’t just step into the street into on coming traffic just because you have this neat little orange vest with light reflectors dressing up your outfit. I saw that exact same vest at Wal-mart the other day, and you don’t see me walking around the streets of San Francisco wearing it around thinking I OWN the place…cause you don’t. I have a car. Car hits person. Car wins! I trump you! I don’t care about your stupid little vest especially since you’re driving around a big truck delivering bakery goods! I know my rights, and I KNOW that I don’t have to yield to a bakery deliverer wearing a neon vest!

Ok! So THERE!

I'm swamped

And I still have not come above water.

This will change next week when Pasha starts practice for his third soccer team this season. Sometimes I hate soccer season because he's gone Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, sometimes Friday and Sunday. Then Saturday, the holy day, he's too damn tired to do anything. I really don't have ANY room to talk on this subject, since, I have rehearsals every night of the week.

However, I'm not rehearsing for anything right now, and so, someone must call the wahmbulance.

I will live, it's true, but I'm pouting.

MLK

Why do I all my friends and family have MLK off except ME?!?!?!?

Wah!

It's so not fair.

Another Audition

How anti-climatic these auditions have become, even the auditions that I have mentally prepared for for 365 days and actually...probably more than that. (sigh)

It's pathetic really, when you think about it. I mean TWO MINUTES. I sweat it out for a year for a measly two freakin' minutes.

I did ok. It went by so fast that I can't really tell you what went well and what went horrible. The bart ride home was interesting though, but I'll leave that for another post.

The Doctor.

I loathe, detest, hate and dread the doctors. ANY doctors, dentist, gyno, general practitioner, dermatologist – name it: I avoid it.

I put of my annuals until the VERY last second. So far as to say, I call in a million and one favors to all my doctor friends begging and pleading to re-fill my baby stoppers for me. Well, my drugs are getting too expensive and I’m experience an unusual pain that I figured must not be dismissed, so I scheduled an annual. However, my insurance has recently changed to sucksnet Healthnet and I needed to get a new doctor.

ONLY ONE DOCTOR in my area that is covered, and they managed to fit me in three days later. - My first concern.

I arrived at the doctors office, only to discover, that the office itself was at the end of a long damask and broken down hallway that smelled of old body oder. Run –run faraway Beverley. Alas, I walked into the empty waiting room, and proceeded to fill out all the necessary paper work required for an examine. This also entails a urine sample. Ugh, fine, sure whatever…. She says, “The bathroom is located all the way down at the end of the hall past the elevators.”

Are.you.freaking.kidding.me.

Do you know what she is asking me to do? I have to go to the PUBLIC restroom pee in a cup, and then CARRY IT BACK to the office…. past the elevators….. where everyone can see me? Oh, please don’t mind me… I’m just washing my hands here, and yes that is a cup full of … sitting on the sink.

Ew.Ew.Ew.Ew.Ew.

Can you believe how disgusting that is? It’s so vile. My stomach still turns still thinking about it. I almost walked out right there, but I HAD TO GO to the doctor. It turns out that he was very nice, funny and I actually really liked him a lot. But seriously, get a bathroom inside the office.

I'm done.

I’m done. I’m done. I’m done.

Yesterday, I finished the procrastinating project, and it took an entire evening to come down from that stressful few days. I still have a lot to do, but at least it feels more manageable! Kinko’s, however, you are rivaling with Target in my disdain for lack of customer support!

Part of the stressful project entailed a huge amount of scanning pictures! Sure! No problem, but my resource, I discovered too late, only scanned in black and white. Crap! I’ll buy my own scanner, no, I’ll go to Kinko’s!!!!

I left work, and started walking to a Kinko’s located about ten minutes away. On my way there, I found a closer Kinko’s. I walked in and I stood at the counter, and waited, and waited, and waited and I waited. The guy behind the counter looked at me, and he kept looking at me. Then he kept ho-humming on his computer. I then hit the little bell incessantly while saying, very loudly, “How long does a person have to stand here making eye contact with you before you step away from solitaire and help?”

Ok, so I didn’t really say that, but he came over to me, finally, and said, “Do you need some help?”

I replied, “No, you remind me of someone, and I’d like to just stand here and look at you.”

Ugh, I didn’t really say that either, but I soon learned that this particular Kinko’s did not have self service scanning. So, I had to continue on my way to the far away Kinko’s. By the way, it’s raining, and I don’t have an umbrella. So, I arrived at the far away Kinks, and I asked for the self-service scanning.

Yeah right, sista ~ it’s broken. This know-it- all rep, at least, was much more helpful then the other counter rep, and he called the even farther away location for me to make sure they had the scanners over there before I hauled my cookies all the way over there.

What fortune! They do, and Kinko’s in the financial district functions like Starbucks. Thus, there is one at almost every street corner! After 30 minutes of scanning, 12 dollars later and drenched in the rain, I finished the scanning project! Whew!

Now with that project checked off the list, I managed to put away all my laundry and work on my monologue. Thankfully, my mood has vastly improved! This is also due to the fact that I am so jamming out to the new Hanson 10 year anniversary Middle of Nowhere Acoustic CD that I got yesterday for Christmas!

Who can seriously be in a bad mood and listen to Hanson? Not ME! It is part of the reason I love them so much. Please remind me of this the next time I get like this.

The Thing About Stress -

for me -

is that I keep adding things to the list of things to do instead of checking them off, and the list gets crowded with heaping and heaping piles of things to do. Some of these items include – change the pictures in the frames, organize all the pictures on your computer, optimize your pictures for web, transfer your itunes to your mac, paint the cabinet in the kitchen, hang the pictures in the kitchen, etc. Don’t get me wrong these are all important things to do, but these items get mixed in with: go to the grocery store, do your laundry, memorize your monologue for the biggest audition of your life to date that’s on Saturday, finish scanning the pictures for a freelance project you have been procrastinating on for well - long enough to not be done, and the materials are needed by your client and oh, I don’t know –clean your house so it’s livable? Wait, which list should winter cleaning/organizing go on? Important or not as important? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, retreat-retreat-retreat screams my heart, and my overwhelmed self crawls into bed at 8:45pm, and rocks herself to sleep once she has discovered she is referring to herself in third person!

This really is not way to live, and I usually do OK when I’m busy. I find that I am more motivated to accomplish important tasks that are on deadlines. However, being overwhelmed does not bode well for me, as my brain turns completely into Milkyways. (I figure if my brain is going to be mushy, I might as well pick a sweet and tasty image!)

So, I find myself saying things like, “When do I stop feeling like I have to count my petties?” Instead of saying, “When do I stop feeling like I have to count my pennies?” Oh, and worst of all, I can’t make coffee. TWO DAYS IN A ROW – I have messed this up. This. Is. A. Big. Deal.

Yesterday, I made a pot of boiling water sans the coffee. Laughing at my idiocy, I poured the already boiling water through the pot again, but this time I added the coffee. Well, my brand-new traveling mug didn’t like having twice boiled water in it, but the cup itself could handle it – just not the rubbery bottom that started bubbling up. (sigh)

Then today, I made sure that the coffee pot worked correctly, but I couldn’t get the proportions of sugar and milk correctly in the cup. Oh Lordie, this can’t be a good omen for the day. Please have mercy on me.

I'm stressed

I know I should not be for a multiple of reasons, but the main reason I should not be stressed is the fact that it is ALL MY FAULT! BEVERLEY! STOP procrastinating.

What’s happened to me?

It’s ok, I’ve managed to deal with my stress levels extremely well. When things get to overwhelming, I just crawl into bed at 8:45pm and go to sleep. Hopefully the amount of work disappears into thin air, and my stress level will be lifted! Try it.. let me know how it goes.

S-E-ohmygoshican'tsayit......

You know the part in just about EVERY moving where the lead girl kisses the lead dude? I, nine times out of ten, turn my head.

There are even a few movies that I have seen in which the kissing leads to OTHER activities, and I am either crawled up in a little ball in my chair, so far snuggled into whoever is sitting next to me it’s difficult to breathe or I am seriously begging the inside of my body to stay inside my skin.

The mere thought of writing about THE subject gives my stomach a whirl, but today, it can not be avoided, and I am blessed to have a prepubescent vocabulary including words like: it, hook-up, nookie, make-out, the-deed, etc. to help me out.

I might as well just blurt it out: I have a hickey.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m no longer in high school, and yes, I am, in fact, in my mid-twenties and in a serious relationship.

THE WORST part about the whole thing is that we didn’t… I didn’t even… I. Um….how do I say this? Vocabulary-you’re not helping…. Anyway. So yeah, we didn’t. We were in the kitchen, and pash started to tease me – saying he was going to give me a hickey.

I responded with: no – stop – pasha, I’m serious – stop it! ARRGGH – fine, do it – YES, I’m kidding!!! (I was trying to use reverse psychology.) Seriously, this little flirtatious escapade lasted all of 20 seconds right before we sat down for dinner, but just long enough to leave a tiny little red mark that I did not happen to see until I was at work already washing my hands in the bathroom. Did I really REALLY have to pick out the RED sweater to wear today? It only accentuates the wonderful red coloration in my neck!

So, I’m here at work.. red sweater, red hickey and a dark black scarf I have worn all day. Inside. Oh, did I tell you? I’m going to my honorary family’s house for the night to celebrate Christmas.

Sick.

I brought in 2007 with a cold that knocked me off my feet. If you look at all the New Year’s pictures, I look completely and utterly intoxicated, but no. I just had a fever, and I scarfed down food that cost 200 dollars without tasting a single bite. A lot of that food looked suspect, so, being congested worked in my favor.

Now, I have brought a cold into 2008, but I am determined to shake it before it gets to the point that I’m snuggling up with Nightquil and mucus. At first, I thought it was just in my throat, but I realized soon after that my brain has been affected as well. Yesterday, I think I said, “I feel like I’m counting my petties.” Instead of saying, “I feel like I’m counting my pennies.” Is my intelligence really regressing that drastically? No, it’s gotta be the cold. It’s just gotta.

How should I remedy this?

I absolutely agree with you, coffee.

Coffee is sososososoosososososososoos good, and it makes my heart smile at the mere thought of drinking a nice smooth cup of coffee.  I yearn for the day that I can work remotely in a small café across the world drinking a nice cup of coffee, as I tell you of my travels.

See the type of dreams my brain is concocting in my delirious sickie state?

10 Minutes a Day keeps the Doctor Away

I welcome 2008, and I hope to be just as successful with my 2008 goals as I did with 2007.

I accomplished all of my very important 2007 goals career wise and personal. I hope the same bodes true for 2008.

I'd like to blog/write more this year, and become more skilled at the art.

I'd like to get at least half of my equity points this year.

Perhaps get married and have a baby. - I'm so joking...
I need tonight to reorg my brain.

Here's to a new year, and a new start.