If you ever feeling really terrible about yourself, NEVER GO TO AN AUDITION! It's just going to make you feel worse watching these young 18 -20 year old girls bouncing around at 6:00 in the @#@$#% morning. Whining about how their pink nail polish chipped on the way to the audition so they put their name on the list and then went home and slept for a few more hours while their punk @$$ friend stayed in the line texting frantically if something changes. Meanwhile, I've been sitting there since the dark hours of 5:30 in the morning patiently waiting by the door with 100 other girls names in front of my own, but these girls are nowhere to be seen. That's right ladies - I WOULD KILL FOR A FEW MORE HOURS OF SLEEP TOO. Alas, I don't really have the luxury to treck back and forth between Harlem and audition the way these other people seem to do. Plus, its really not fair to the people who have been waiting.
While I'd kill for a few more hours of sleep, I think I'd really kill for my equity card. That way I could get up early (8:00) get an audition slot. Stay there and sing or come back and sing. Everything seems to just go a bit smoother when you're actually equity. I need to get my card. I need to get my card. I'm actually not sure how to get it, but I think this is something that I want to be more active and focused on.
I haven't had the courage to go back and audition since my singing abomination, but I have been more aggressive about getting into class and singing with a teacher. I had a pop coaching and she's going to email me a list of rock/pop songs to put in my rep book. I'm looking forward to start working on that new material.
I really can't think about auditioning right now. I've been at it all day. I just need a break
Showing posts with label audition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label audition. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Singing Abomination
Ever want to die right on the spot?
You know, that lingering feeling that death is the only eminent thing that could possibly make whatever you're going through at that moment any better? I guess death doesn't have to be the only solution. I'm sure one could strip off all their cloths and run a muck turning over tables and waiting for some hot police officer to come in cuff 'em and get thrown in the back of the cop car. Then one might get tortured with "waffle facing" and what not - just not worth it. Go big or go home. Pray for death.
That moment just happened to me. It's definitely been a few hours later, but I can't seem to shake off the embarrassment.
I woke up in the early hour of noon knowing I had a voice lesson at 2pm in Harlem. I had a great lesson with my teacher who I used to sing with once a week in San Francisco and now I it's more like once a quarter because she can't travel to NYC that often. However, it was very great to see her and I think I really made some headway in singing. She re-energized me vocal exercises to get these new habits in my body. My tongue is caught in the back of my throat and so I get around my break-e, eflat, f -and sound all throaty, hooty, covered and dark. It's just really bad. Since I had a good lesson, I thought I would go down to "In the Heights" audition and see if I could crash the equity call.
It's 4pm now and I go in. I ask the equity moniter if any of the non-equity people are being seen. He said, "We saw about 90 and then she decided that she wants to see your headshot and resume and she'll decide if she wants to hear you." So I gave him mine, and he came out to tell me that she does want to see me and I'm next.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, it's a rock/pop show. I was supposed to sing 16 bars of a pop/rock song. I'M TERRIBLE AT POP
uuuuh... I'm in kaki's and a brown shirt. Usually people are wearing skirts, dresses, and looking like it's fashion show instead of an audition. I didn't have any makeup on and he says - honey you have such a natural beauty you really don't need any make up.
I went in and thanked them for seeing me.
I should have turned around and walked out because I went to he accompanist. Gave her my 8 bar cut and I couldn't hear my part. My notes. I was a complete disaster. I opened my mouth and the in the first two measures I sang EVERY NOTE WRONG. WRONG AND BADLY. So badly that I stopped singing and said I'm sorry I have to start over. Of course that's a big big no-no in the singing world.
BUT THEN.
I sang it wrong again.
I knew there was no going back and fixing it so I just pushed through the rest of the 8 bars. I looked at her and you should have seen her face. She said to me with her eyes - please please please please please stop singing. I'll do anything. Her hand was in her hair and I SWEAR I saw her pull on it.
I have to face it. I'm not good at pop. I really suck at pop and everytime I try to sing it - I fall flat. I wish I could have run across the table and pulled my headshot from her hot little hands so she wouldn't remember my name. I have got to figure out this style of singing otherwise I'm gonna die here in New York.
You know, that lingering feeling that death is the only eminent thing that could possibly make whatever you're going through at that moment any better? I guess death doesn't have to be the only solution. I'm sure one could strip off all their cloths and run a muck turning over tables and waiting for some hot police officer to come in cuff 'em and get thrown in the back of the cop car. Then one might get tortured with "waffle facing" and what not - just not worth it. Go big or go home. Pray for death.
That moment just happened to me. It's definitely been a few hours later, but I can't seem to shake off the embarrassment.
I woke up in the early hour of noon knowing I had a voice lesson at 2pm in Harlem. I had a great lesson with my teacher who I used to sing with once a week in San Francisco and now I it's more like once a quarter because she can't travel to NYC that often. However, it was very great to see her and I think I really made some headway in singing. She re-energized me vocal exercises to get these new habits in my body. My tongue is caught in the back of my throat and so I get around my break-e, eflat, f -and sound all throaty, hooty, covered and dark. It's just really bad. Since I had a good lesson, I thought I would go down to "In the Heights" audition and see if I could crash the equity call.
It's 4pm now and I go in. I ask the equity moniter if any of the non-equity people are being seen. He said, "We saw about 90 and then she decided that she wants to see your headshot and resume and she'll decide if she wants to hear you." So I gave him mine, and he came out to tell me that she does want to see me and I'm next.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, it's a rock/pop show. I was supposed to sing 16 bars of a pop/rock song. I'M TERRIBLE AT POP
uuuuh... I'm in kaki's and a brown shirt. Usually people are wearing skirts, dresses, and looking like it's fashion show instead of an audition. I didn't have any makeup on and he says - honey you have such a natural beauty you really don't need any make up.
I went in and thanked them for seeing me.
I should have turned around and walked out because I went to he accompanist. Gave her my 8 bar cut and I couldn't hear my part. My notes. I was a complete disaster. I opened my mouth and the in the first two measures I sang EVERY NOTE WRONG. WRONG AND BADLY. So badly that I stopped singing and said I'm sorry I have to start over. Of course that's a big big no-no in the singing world.
BUT THEN.
I sang it wrong again.
I knew there was no going back and fixing it so I just pushed through the rest of the 8 bars. I looked at her and you should have seen her face. She said to me with her eyes - please please please please please stop singing. I'll do anything. Her hand was in her hair and I SWEAR I saw her pull on it.
I have to face it. I'm not good at pop. I really suck at pop and everytime I try to sing it - I fall flat. I wish I could have run across the table and pulled my headshot from her hot little hands so she wouldn't remember my name. I have got to figure out this style of singing otherwise I'm gonna die here in New York.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
While auditioning for a season...
My last post was brought to you while sitting in the Les Miserables audition, and I’ve discovered that sitting at auditions are the time that I get the most downtime to write. Auditioning in New York is extremely brutal. This is how the Les Miz audition went:
I got at the studio at 8:00am and put my name on the list. I was number 284 only to be followed by 200 more girls asking to be put on the list. By the time the audition started at 10:00am, 500 girls had signed up for the audition. They did not want to type out so they broke the list into groups of 30 people and put people into a room and lined us up in three lines of 10. They taught us two lines of “Lovely Ladies” and then went down the line one by one singing as much of the 12 bars as he saw fit. Then he kept people as he saw fit to stay and sing some more. I got to stay and sing Cosette in the same fashion as before. 30 girls lined up learned two lines of her song and then kept. I got cut after the first call, but at least I got called. The ladies sitting next to me didn’t. I know they were being particular and I still have faith that my time will come for something. After all, this is just my 4th audition. I’ve been here four weeks. It’s going to take time.
In other news, I got a job. Actually, I got two. I’ve started this marketing internship for a known Broadway producer. I’m helping him get his start-up off the ground which is pretty fantastic. I can’t say much about the work I’m doing for it is a start-up and I have signed a NADA. Yet, I think this will be a great opportunity for me should it work out.
I also got my waitress job. I’m currently working at Fat Annie’s in NYC. It’s a great great great place to get some real waitress experience instead of catering only. It is a restaurant described as southern comfort style cuisine. Yesterday was my first day. Here are a couple of things I have to get used to: 1) Ketchup. 2) Standing on my feet 3) Getting out of my comfort zone. The smell of ketchup makes me vomit. I touch it and I think I smell like it ALL DAY LONG. I hate ketchup everything about it. The taste, the smell, the look and in fact if ketchup and mosquitoes disappeared from this earth, I would be a very very very happy woman. I would go as far as to say that those two things are the worst things ever. I mean ever. Everyone who works there so far is very nice and the work seems to come very quickly to them. Right now, I’m in training so my schedule is not on the books. I don’ t know what my schedule is. Everyday that I go in I just get put back on the schedule for my next training day. I’m working on memorizing the menu, but I got home last night and I wanted to collapse. It was 8:30pm and they put me on a double. I had been there since 10:30am on my feet. Serving is going to be fine. I think I will do fine.
And so begins the delicate balance between working for survival and surviving in the theatre; both a daunting task. Take today for example. I woke up at 4:30am by the sound of the battery dying in the carbon monoxide detector which I tried to sleep through but that didn’t happen. My alarm went off at 5:00am and I got changed and headed to the audition arriving with my roommate at 6:47am. I am number 123 and she is 124. This means that I potentially will not be seen before I have I need to be at work at 1pm to work in the marketing place for a few hours. Then I’m off to work the dinner shift at 5pm till closing. So I’ve been up since 4:30am and I won’t get home until 12am. Thus, I learned a very valuable lesson about open non-equity calls. You must get here at 6am. MUST MUST MUST. Well, if you want to be seen early then you want to be here at 6am. Something that is potentially disturbing me about waitress is that it is just as difficult to get to auditions if you’re working a lunch shift and need to be there at 10:30am. Then, if you are working a double, you’re there for 12 hours and forget about getting to any audition. If I wanted to work those type of days than I could get an office job from 10:30am until 7pm and call it a job. Flexible is hard to find and in this economy I should just be happy that I HAVE a job. It’s part of the reason these audition calls are incredibly brutal. Everyone is out of work including actors non equity and equity. 300+ people are showing up to these auditions to these open calls. All things I know and knew before I moved here but it sure is one thing to hear it versus experiencing it. I’m trying desperately to let it go. To know that whatever is meant to happen will happen. That all I can do is my very best before I burn out, and hope that all things will fall into place. I know this will happen but my mental energy is starting to get sucked up. How long will I be able to keep up working these 15 hour days with little to no rest? Don’t get my wrong. I’m not discouraged. I’m not complaining. I actually feel motivated and energized sitting here waiting for my chance to sing and surrounded by people who talk about their upcoming auditions. I love that. I’m living the life I dreamed about since I graced the stage in ’98. Now it is time to get out of these open call lines by getting my equity card and getting some gigs.
Can we talk about the audition room for a second? First of all, it’s so packed. SOOOO packed. People are sitting wherever there is space, and it’s difficult to even dream about walking through the sea of human bodies to the door to get to the bathroom. At the Les Miz audition, I got called to sing, and I stepped on someone’s foot to get to the table. I felt terrible about it, but really I thought it was her bag. I had to step SOMEWHERE and the floor was covered. The room is also like a wannabe red carpet room. You should see some of the things that women wear! One of the girls was wearing a purple dress that you could see her boob from her profile. Really? What on are these woman thinking? I would never wake up and think – let me put on no clothes. Ok, I have to go and focus on what to sing. I need to start focusing on this audition and seeing if I can wiggle my way to be seen before 12:30pm.
I got at the studio at 8:00am and put my name on the list. I was number 284 only to be followed by 200 more girls asking to be put on the list. By the time the audition started at 10:00am, 500 girls had signed up for the audition. They did not want to type out so they broke the list into groups of 30 people and put people into a room and lined us up in three lines of 10. They taught us two lines of “Lovely Ladies” and then went down the line one by one singing as much of the 12 bars as he saw fit. Then he kept people as he saw fit to stay and sing some more. I got to stay and sing Cosette in the same fashion as before. 30 girls lined up learned two lines of her song and then kept. I got cut after the first call, but at least I got called. The ladies sitting next to me didn’t. I know they were being particular and I still have faith that my time will come for something. After all, this is just my 4th audition. I’ve been here four weeks. It’s going to take time.
In other news, I got a job. Actually, I got two. I’ve started this marketing internship for a known Broadway producer. I’m helping him get his start-up off the ground which is pretty fantastic. I can’t say much about the work I’m doing for it is a start-up and I have signed a NADA. Yet, I think this will be a great opportunity for me should it work out.
I also got my waitress job. I’m currently working at Fat Annie’s in NYC. It’s a great great great place to get some real waitress experience instead of catering only. It is a restaurant described as southern comfort style cuisine. Yesterday was my first day. Here are a couple of things I have to get used to: 1) Ketchup. 2) Standing on my feet 3) Getting out of my comfort zone. The smell of ketchup makes me vomit. I touch it and I think I smell like it ALL DAY LONG. I hate ketchup everything about it. The taste, the smell, the look and in fact if ketchup and mosquitoes disappeared from this earth, I would be a very very very happy woman. I would go as far as to say that those two things are the worst things ever. I mean ever. Everyone who works there so far is very nice and the work seems to come very quickly to them. Right now, I’m in training so my schedule is not on the books. I don’ t know what my schedule is. Everyday that I go in I just get put back on the schedule for my next training day. I’m working on memorizing the menu, but I got home last night and I wanted to collapse. It was 8:30pm and they put me on a double. I had been there since 10:30am on my feet. Serving is going to be fine. I think I will do fine.
And so begins the delicate balance between working for survival and surviving in the theatre; both a daunting task. Take today for example. I woke up at 4:30am by the sound of the battery dying in the carbon monoxide detector which I tried to sleep through but that didn’t happen. My alarm went off at 5:00am and I got changed and headed to the audition arriving with my roommate at 6:47am. I am number 123 and she is 124. This means that I potentially will not be seen before I have I need to be at work at 1pm to work in the marketing place for a few hours. Then I’m off to work the dinner shift at 5pm till closing. So I’ve been up since 4:30am and I won’t get home until 12am. Thus, I learned a very valuable lesson about open non-equity calls. You must get here at 6am. MUST MUST MUST. Well, if you want to be seen early then you want to be here at 6am. Something that is potentially disturbing me about waitress is that it is just as difficult to get to auditions if you’re working a lunch shift and need to be there at 10:30am. Then, if you are working a double, you’re there for 12 hours and forget about getting to any audition. If I wanted to work those type of days than I could get an office job from 10:30am until 7pm and call it a job. Flexible is hard to find and in this economy I should just be happy that I HAVE a job. It’s part of the reason these audition calls are incredibly brutal. Everyone is out of work including actors non equity and equity. 300+ people are showing up to these auditions to these open calls. All things I know and knew before I moved here but it sure is one thing to hear it versus experiencing it. I’m trying desperately to let it go. To know that whatever is meant to happen will happen. That all I can do is my very best before I burn out, and hope that all things will fall into place. I know this will happen but my mental energy is starting to get sucked up. How long will I be able to keep up working these 15 hour days with little to no rest? Don’t get my wrong. I’m not discouraged. I’m not complaining. I actually feel motivated and energized sitting here waiting for my chance to sing and surrounded by people who talk about their upcoming auditions. I love that. I’m living the life I dreamed about since I graced the stage in ’98. Now it is time to get out of these open call lines by getting my equity card and getting some gigs.
Can we talk about the audition room for a second? First of all, it’s so packed. SOOOO packed. People are sitting wherever there is space, and it’s difficult to even dream about walking through the sea of human bodies to the door to get to the bathroom. At the Les Miz audition, I got called to sing, and I stepped on someone’s foot to get to the table. I felt terrible about it, but really I thought it was her bag. I had to step SOMEWHERE and the floor was covered. The room is also like a wannabe red carpet room. You should see some of the things that women wear! One of the girls was wearing a purple dress that you could see her boob from her profile. Really? What on are these woman thinking? I would never wake up and think – let me put on no clothes. Ok, I have to go and focus on what to sing. I need to start focusing on this audition and seeing if I can wiggle my way to be seen before 12:30pm.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Finally - I got to sing.
A Little Night Music in Florida held auditions in New York on Sunday. So, I sent in my headshot and resume in. A couple days later - I got an appointment!
F-I-N-A-L-L-Y!
I keep going to these equity auditions to wait for hours only to be turned away by a scoffing hand. Thank goodness for that paper EMC card - I'm going to laminate it.
Anyway, I got to the audition and they were running an hour behind. After waiting 5 plus hours to sing a measly 16 bars of music, 1 hour seemed like a drop in the bucket - a mere hour I happily waited through. I think I had been starving to sing for so long the anticipation started to eat at me a little bit and not in "I'm nervous way." My anticipation felt more like: let-me-in-there-right-now-to-sing-these-sixteen-bars-of-music-or-I'm-going-to-BURST! Luckily, I had all day to warm up slowly and practice my material. Thus, I finally felt warm and ready to sing when it my turn came.
I walked in. I introduced my song and sang the end of "If I Loved You."
He said, "That was fantastic." Did you hear that? He said it was fantastic.. fantastic...fantastic...people in NYC don't use that word. This was supposed to be the audition that spit me up and chewed me out. My first audition was supposed to make me question why I ever moved, why I ever even had the inclination that maybe just maybe I could sing for a living and none of that happened. He said, "fantastic."
But...
He also said I was too old for the role.
That i was great to meet me and thanked me for singing for them today.
I'm NYC. Win some miss most, but he said it was fantastic. I am going to take that away from the audition because it pretty much is an amazing compliment. I keep saying it - my time is coming, and it IS. I just want it to come NOW! Ok fine, how about......... now?
F-I-N-A-L-L-Y!
I keep going to these equity auditions to wait for hours only to be turned away by a scoffing hand. Thank goodness for that paper EMC card - I'm going to laminate it.
Anyway, I got to the audition and they were running an hour behind. After waiting 5 plus hours to sing a measly 16 bars of music, 1 hour seemed like a drop in the bucket - a mere hour I happily waited through. I think I had been starving to sing for so long the anticipation started to eat at me a little bit and not in "I'm nervous way." My anticipation felt more like: let-me-in-there-right-now-to-sing-these-sixteen-bars-of-music-or-I'm-going-to-BURST! Luckily, I had all day to warm up slowly and practice my material. Thus, I finally felt warm and ready to sing when it my turn came.
I walked in. I introduced my song and sang the end of "If I Loved You."
He said, "That was fantastic." Did you hear that? He said it was fantastic.. fantastic...fantastic...people in NYC don't use that word. This was supposed to be the audition that spit me up and chewed me out. My first audition was supposed to make me question why I ever moved, why I ever even had the inclination that maybe just maybe I could sing for a living and none of that happened. He said, "fantastic."
But...
He also said I was too old for the role.
That i was great to meet me and thanked me for singing for them today.
I'm NYC. Win some miss most, but he said it was fantastic. I am going to take that away from the audition because it pretty much is an amazing compliment. I keep saying it - my time is coming, and it IS. I just want it to come NOW! Ok fine, how about......... now?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
My First New York Audition
I’m not sure if I’ll be able to call this my first NYC audition because I’m not sure if I’ll get seen since I am a non-equity at an equity call, and I did go to that West Side Story Audition. Ok, let’s call this my first audition since living here. I posted on my facebook today that I was going to auditions today. I’m so blessed to have this incredible network of friends and family that love me and support me because I got here and already had a million text messages showering me with love and confidence. I couldn’t help but wonder as I stepped off the subway at 6:30am dressed to the nines how long it will take to get old. By “get old” I mean, the thrill of auditioning, the getting up at 5:00am to get to an audition you may not be seen at, the constant waiting, the love and support – essentially all of it. Will I write on my facebook status- 702566788347 audition? Yes, I probably will. I love this room. I love this environment and I don’t mind the waiting.
I learned a couple of really important things:
I’m at an Equity call in the equity office. Equity is the union for actors and stage managers. If you are apart of this union, you are considered a professional actor. You no longer can audition for unpaid shows. Non-Equity folks can show up to audition, but you may or may not be seen. So I had been advised to show up first and early.
When I arrived at 6:30am, I discovered that four lists exist and you should find out what list you must sign up for before you get there. 1) Equity with appointments. 2) Equity without appointments. (alternatives) 3) EMC (Equity Membership Candidate) 4) Non-Equity. The class hierarchy is pretty much amazing. There is an equity lounge that is moniterd. Noone can pass the monitor unless they show their equity card or EMC card. In this lounge there are woman dressing rooms, pillars with mirrors, bathroom, comfortable chairs, plugs and information on other auditions – actors haven. If you’re non-equity, you’re sitting in the hall on these skinny little brown benches that make your butt go numb within ten minutes of sitting and you’re not allowed to use the bathroom.
No, I’m serious.
If you’re non-equity and you have to use the bathroom, you have to walk outside of the building and around the corner to the McDonalds. It really blew my mind but I’m not kidding you. It’s true.
Anyway, it just so happens I had to wait until 10am to go into the equity lounge because I had not picked up my EMC card yet, and the office didn’t open until then. Once I got my card, I thoroughly enjoyed my time sitting and waiting in equity lounge only to discover that at 12:00pm that EMCs will not, in fact, be seen.
It’s ok. I know it’s a tough market but what’s it going to take to be seen?! This is the second time I’ve gone out there and the second time I haven’t had a chance to sing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not discouraged ALREADY! I’m just eagerly awaiting my turn. It’s coming. I know it.
I learned a couple of really important things:
I’m at an Equity call in the equity office. Equity is the union for actors and stage managers. If you are apart of this union, you are considered a professional actor. You no longer can audition for unpaid shows. Non-Equity folks can show up to audition, but you may or may not be seen. So I had been advised to show up first and early.
When I arrived at 6:30am, I discovered that four lists exist and you should find out what list you must sign up for before you get there. 1) Equity with appointments. 2) Equity without appointments. (alternatives) 3) EMC (Equity Membership Candidate) 4) Non-Equity. The class hierarchy is pretty much amazing. There is an equity lounge that is moniterd. Noone can pass the monitor unless they show their equity card or EMC card. In this lounge there are woman dressing rooms, pillars with mirrors, bathroom, comfortable chairs, plugs and information on other auditions – actors haven. If you’re non-equity, you’re sitting in the hall on these skinny little brown benches that make your butt go numb within ten minutes of sitting and you’re not allowed to use the bathroom.
No, I’m serious.
If you’re non-equity and you have to use the bathroom, you have to walk outside of the building and around the corner to the McDonalds. It really blew my mind but I’m not kidding you. It’s true.
Anyway, it just so happens I had to wait until 10am to go into the equity lounge because I had not picked up my EMC card yet, and the office didn’t open until then. Once I got my card, I thoroughly enjoyed my time sitting and waiting in equity lounge only to discover that at 12:00pm that EMCs will not, in fact, be seen.
It’s ok. I know it’s a tough market but what’s it going to take to be seen?! This is the second time I’ve gone out there and the second time I haven’t had a chance to sing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not discouraged ALREADY! I’m just eagerly awaiting my turn. It’s coming. I know it.
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