Sooooo Good to be Back

My mind should not be idle.
I should always be in a show.
I should always be surrounded by people.

At least for right now.

Being back with the cast was so wonderful. Seeing the emails fly back and forth about how I am not very much fun at parties and how I should "Drink what the lady is serving" made my day! I knew it was going to be a good show.

Sure enough, it was a great show. I mean sure, I had a little phlegm in the back of my throat that I should have cleared out, but eh. It was fine! At the end of "Moon in my Window" some one verbally said that was beautiful! So, that made me feel good, and they didn't start clapping through the acappella part. Thus, they must hear me. It's such a low song in my register. However, let me tell you the funniest part about tonight.

We are all alcoholics in the show, and I think that I have mentioned that before. However, there is this one party scene where we are all together laughing and drinking even with the little 12 year old gondola boy. The mistress of the house pours him a little spot of campari which is supposed to be ice tea! However!!!!!! Oh however!!!!! She doesn't know that the campari she has poured for the young boy is NOT tea! It is campari!

I really should not be laughing about this, and truly it makes me not want my children to be in theatre because they grow fast surrounded by so many adults in their spare time! They will be watching Dumbo until they are 12! They will be little angels and baking cookies with their mother! Not drinking campari with a cast filled with adults!

I'm just glad to be back in the comforts of theatre makes me feel less crazy.

What's the Line Again?

Argh!!! The second weekend of Waltz is not going as fantastically as I would like to report! I'm a hot mess on stage right now and my definition of hot should not be repeated incase people are eating breakfast while reading this post.

My husband got a sinus infection and we had to cut a song the night before last, and I miss his strength in all of the group songs. It's throwing me because last night I dropped a line "Grazie" and then THEN I sang the wrong line in one of the group songs. It didn't rhyme with F's line. It stuck out like a sore thumb! The funny part about - well, I can say it's funny now, even though, it was not funny at the time was that I didn't even say my line!! I said one of my husband's lines! I mean I got off stage and I said, "Please someone help me. I seem to have misplaced my brain."

Beverley. Get. It. Together.

It's really embarrassing. I don't want people to come to this show knowing that I can't get it together.

On another note, I've told you that audiences don't like me right? SO strange to get used to! I'm not saying that I should be loved and adored by all, but when I read the character off the page, I did not find her to be unlikeable. Who hates the dumb people?
I guess she is a little stuck up and highly aggravating, but not likable? I mean we should pity her the poor girl! I mean really!!!!! It's ok. I have really loved working on this production. The talented people in this show motivate me to do a better job.

The Show.

Tonight we had a show. My poor "husband" has a sinus infection and lost his voice. So we had to cut song, and our song we struggled through! It was a tough night.

I still have not washed my face and I have not told you about the Hanson concert.

Tomorrow.

We Open Tonight

And I'm feeling SAD!

This will be my last opening night in the bay area for a while. I hope it won't be my last opening night forever.

Death by Tempo

We have one more rehearsal before our invited dress rehearsal and nothing is going right. I have not worked with all seven of my costume changes, my shoes aren't re-heeled, I left them at thee theatre and the worst thing happened tonight:

At the beginning of Act 2, I am left sitting on the stage waiting for my husband's return. I start this beautiful trio ballad with the first three versus. Tonight also happened to be the first night with the orchestra. I take a deep breath after singing the first verse and incomes dust from that felt like it was left over from the set build. The dust is settling nicely in my throat and I can not breathe to save my life. I am desperately trying to cough as I'm choking out the song lyrics. There. is. no. way. " Moon in my oh-my-I-can-not-breathe." Its just happening, and I'm the only one on stage singing. I had to stop the whole performance, and choke to death on stage. Luckily, the entire cast came to my rescue swarming me with cups filled with water. Glad this is a drinking show and there is tons of liquid all around including water (playing vodka) and tea (playing whiskey). Still I could barely breathe and it didn't come back as fast as I would have liked. That has never happened to me in all my years of performing. Never. Not Once. Its one thing to get lost in a song or have other actors save you, but being the only one on stage with no rescue in sight. Terrifying. I opened my mouth to sing, and all I could thing was please let me breathe.

I felt the dust go into my windpipe and it is still lodged inside my throat.

How many times do I have to learn the same lesson? Do not breathe and swallow at the same time.

Tech

Tech rehearsal is sooooo long! Especially on a night like tonight where I'm running on a few hours of welcomed interrupted sleep, and a christmas show rehearsal right before the dreary hours of tech.

This is going to be a great show! I can't wait for all to come and see.

Do I Hear a Break?

Is it true? Did I really sleep for 10 hours last night? Am I really getting two days off from my hectic rehearsal schedule and life?
I guess not really. I have two huge projects that I should be working on, and trying to wrap m brain around. Yet, I really need a break. I just need to take a moment and breathe and suck in the wonderful idea that I will not be working on any websites. I will not be rehearsing. I will not be driving around. I'm just going to take a big deep breath, and enjoy this wintery rainy day - and take in fall.

Rehearsal for Waltz has been spectacular. I know I haven't really said much about the process mostly because it has been so short, and because with the week off for Hawaii, all my energy has been focuses towards the production. The theatre is only 99 seat house, we have no mics, the sets are looking great, and most of all, the cast is so incredibly talented. It's such a pleasure and an honor to share the stage with these folks. Their talent and dedication has really inspired my creative talent. For one, I want to do a really good job to match their choices. Two, I've always felt like I've lacked creative-ness that I behave more like a monkey. Just do whatever you're told. This cast has really let my creative brain get worked, and I've actually come up with a lot of funny one liners - at least subconsciously. It's a real treat to play the dumb blonde trophy wife - character part for a change. Granted, I'll never trade my love sick, in turmoil and with character arch characters. Yet, after Maria and after Kim, this is a nice break.

Last Bay Area Audition Tomorrow.

Into the Wood's audition really crept up from right behind me. I remember receiving an email from the artistic director saying i've heard great things about your work, I hope you can come out to the audition. It amazes me how far a little genuine compliment will get you because I have in my head since that e-mail, I'm going to audition for this production. That was back in May perhaps it was April. So much so that my move date for New York has not been set yet because the status of this production has not yet been determined. I decided that I will either move January 10th or Feb 9th depending on what happens with this audition. It's been in my mind this way since August, and now all of a sudden it's tomorrow?!?

It's such a strange thing because I'm feeling really ill prepared, but the truth is that I'm singing a song that I know very well. I know the show well enough, and I'm no more prepared than I was for WSS or Do I Hear a Waltz auditions. I think because I have built this event up so much in my mind, and a lot is riding on it - it feels like a bigger deal than it I know it is.

It doesn't matter if I don't get this show. You win some and loose most. It's not like Maria which was a dream role for me, but it's a show that I love and I think it would be fun to do. However, it's very different to not get a role in a show that you really want versus getting a role in a show that you think would be fun. The very first time I started to become obsessed with a show in this weird I want to get a role way was Throughly Modern Millie, and it was my first audition since I started studying with my new interum teacher. I had just come off 9 months of studying with someone who was not working for me, and I had to go into some vocal rehab, and then came the Millie audition. I knew it was going to be the first audition that I really really wanted since all the mess, so, I obsessed over it. Listened to the soundtrack everyday. practiced every song everyday. Jumped into tap classes 4 or 5 times a week to brush up on my skills. I had a voice lesson right before I was going to audition, and after singing through my two songs, I basically paralized myself with fear. I drove half way there, and TURNED AROUND! I called the emergency number listed, and said," I'm sorry I can't comitt to the performances", and I TURNED AROUND! I didn't even audition.

A feeling of releif came over me, and I wasn't sure if I had made myself that miserable about "failure," if it was because it had been so long since I had sung well, or if I had put myself through all this unnecessary pressure causing loads of stress! I started to comptiplate whether or not I had bordered insanity or if I was just infact not prepared, which was the excuse I sent to my brain. "I'm just not ready" This was at DLOC for goodness sake, not a Broadway Revival.

That was two years ago. I have come a long way in those two years. I hadn't been like that about a show until West Side Story. Luckily, it wasn't as bad because I was starting to get cast in stuff again, and I had played leads roles since. Plus, at the time of the audition I happened to be in another show. Thus, I really didn't have the time to obsess in the way I did for Millie. When for a split second I thought I wasn't going to be Maria, I was beside myself for a few days because I had prepared for that audition for a year. I knew it was coming, and I wanted it soooooooooooo badly. I could not imagine being so close AGAIN for the second time to play such an incredible role and then miss it, again. When I didn't get Mabel in Pirates, I thought meyeah.... I'll get it next time.

Now I'm faced with the Woods audition, and I'm not sure how I'm going to react because I have become obsessed with the show, but in a different way. I would love love love to play Cinderella or Bakers Wife or even Rapanze, but I think I would be disappointed and hope for the next time I'll get to play the part. Not sitting in my car bawling for 15 minutes before attempting to drive home slurring "Win some loose most" into the answering machine of my so not available boyfriend at the time.

I'm not sure how I'm going to react about these auditions. I can already tell you that I'm feeling "ill prepared," and I think it's because I discovered how stiff my competition is because there are over 100 people auditioning. Egads. This ill prepared bull has got to escape my mental physcie otherwise I will never hack it in New York. It's the "Oh, I wasn't really prepared that's why I didn't get it." Put the negative energy out there, and the negative results will happen.

So, I'm trying to change my attitude, and thinking about how I'm going to go in there and nail that audition tomorrow! All I have is my very best, and if there is someone else that can do the role, then I'll go do the role in New York.

Do I Hear a Waltz?

As I’ve stated before, I’ve started rehearsal for “Do I Hear a Waltz” playing at Masquers Playhouse in Pt. Richmond. The musical is written by Arthur Lawrence, composed by Richard Rogers with lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.. On Oscar Hammerstein’s death bed, he said to Sondheim, “Please write with Rogers.” So, Mary Rogers (composer of Once Upon A Mattress) called Sondheim, and said please do this musical with my dad. Although Sondheim’s first composed musical, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum., was a huge success. He kept his promise to Hammerstein. Then this amazing little gem of a musical came despite the struggle between the lyricist and the composer, and played on Broadway for a shortish amount of time.

The lead character, Leona, comes to Venice, Italy. She stays with Fioria, along with Jennifer and Eddie Yaeger, and Mr. and Mrs. McIlhenny. The bitter sweet musical will take you on a journey into the insight of relationships.

I get to play the trophy wife, Jennifer Yaeger. I’m really drawn to this musical because it’s very “ironic.” I laugh inside because Brecht was the semester that I had the most trouble, and now I’m working on a musical that’s all about it! This up-tempo catchy really happy tune, but the lyrics are so horrible. - about a girl who is getting beaten by her husband, drinking in bed, a husband who acts homosexual, but “we’re gonna be ok.” It’s a great number. I also get to sing one of the most beautiful ballads in the whole show, “Moon in my Window.” The rest of the cast is extremely talented, and I am looking forward to working with this incredible talented cast. I hope that my website is done by the time the show goes up.

It’s going to be a good show, but the drive might kill me.

Do I Hear A Waltz?

Let go of perfection and strive for excellence, says my good friend to me earlier this week when discussing the events of my callback for “Do I Hear A Waltz.”

I personally did not do a great job at callbacks mostly because of my lack of confidence, and lack of preparation. So, that creates a lot a lot of nerves. I’m full of clichés today, but that’s ok because I have to drill this stuff into my brain somehow. I didn’t feel like I knew the music solidly enough to perform it. So, now I need to figure out how I can curb my nerves even in those situations. However, if the director says, “Are you nervous?” THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING.

Let go of perfection and strive for excellence, and remember the most important thing is to just have fun! Sometimes it’s easy to forget. Just have fun. Fun Fun FUN! This is why I do this because I want to have fun! I want to have fun! Anyway, it was great to see some familiar faces, and I am incredibly lucky to be working on such an awesome show! Go out with a bang before you make the move! Well, there is one more show that I’m holding out for, and after that I’ll make the move. I’m excited and freaked all at the same time. Mostly I’m excited.