The Thing About Stress -

for me -

is that I keep adding things to the list of things to do instead of checking them off, and the list gets crowded with heaping and heaping piles of things to do. Some of these items include – change the pictures in the frames, organize all the pictures on your computer, optimize your pictures for web, transfer your itunes to your mac, paint the cabinet in the kitchen, hang the pictures in the kitchen, etc. Don’t get me wrong these are all important things to do, but these items get mixed in with: go to the grocery store, do your laundry, memorize your monologue for the biggest audition of your life to date that’s on Saturday, finish scanning the pictures for a freelance project you have been procrastinating on for well - long enough to not be done, and the materials are needed by your client and oh, I don’t know –clean your house so it’s livable? Wait, which list should winter cleaning/organizing go on? Important or not as important? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, retreat-retreat-retreat screams my heart, and my overwhelmed self crawls into bed at 8:45pm, and rocks herself to sleep once she has discovered she is referring to herself in third person!

This really is not way to live, and I usually do OK when I’m busy. I find that I am more motivated to accomplish important tasks that are on deadlines. However, being overwhelmed does not bode well for me, as my brain turns completely into Milkyways. (I figure if my brain is going to be mushy, I might as well pick a sweet and tasty image!)

So, I find myself saying things like, “When do I stop feeling like I have to count my petties?” Instead of saying, “When do I stop feeling like I have to count my pennies?” Oh, and worst of all, I can’t make coffee. TWO DAYS IN A ROW – I have messed this up. This. Is. A. Big. Deal.

Yesterday, I made a pot of boiling water sans the coffee. Laughing at my idiocy, I poured the already boiling water through the pot again, but this time I added the coffee. Well, my brand-new traveling mug didn’t like having twice boiled water in it, but the cup itself could handle it – just not the rubbery bottom that started bubbling up. (sigh)

Then today, I made sure that the coffee pot worked correctly, but I couldn’t get the proportions of sugar and milk correctly in the cup. Oh Lordie, this can’t be a good omen for the day. Please have mercy on me.

Sick.

I brought in 2007 with a cold that knocked me off my feet. If you look at all the New Year’s pictures, I look completely and utterly intoxicated, but no. I just had a fever, and I scarfed down food that cost 200 dollars without tasting a single bite. A lot of that food looked suspect, so, being congested worked in my favor.

Now, I have brought a cold into 2008, but I am determined to shake it before it gets to the point that I’m snuggling up with Nightquil and mucus. At first, I thought it was just in my throat, but I realized soon after that my brain has been affected as well. Yesterday, I think I said, “I feel like I’m counting my petties.” Instead of saying, “I feel like I’m counting my pennies.” Is my intelligence really regressing that drastically? No, it’s gotta be the cold. It’s just gotta.

How should I remedy this?

I absolutely agree with you, coffee.

Coffee is sososososoosososososososoos good, and it makes my heart smile at the mere thought of drinking a nice smooth cup of coffee.  I yearn for the day that I can work remotely in a small café across the world drinking a nice cup of coffee, as I tell you of my travels.

See the type of dreams my brain is concocting in my delirious sickie state?

Today

Remember when I told you about this horrible thing that tortures me? Well, today has been especially bad.

I poured my usual cup of coffee this morning at home. I have one cup every morning, which means I have to pour the coffee into the cup every single day. Today, for some reason, I poured 90% of the coffee all down my cabinets and on to the floor. This should have been my first sign, but as I am discovering, I ignore signs.

I came to work this morning, and I decided to make the office coffee...mostly because I wanted another cup. This daunting task is scary because everyone in the office drinks it, and if it's not good, pack up your desk: you're fired. So, I usually hide in my computer, and wait for someone else to make the pot. It's not rocket science, but I fear being held accountable, obviously. However, today I was rocking out to MMMBOP, and my mood is always instantaneously better. Thus, I decided to make the coffee.

When I went to empty out the used grinds for 12 cups of coffee, I dropped it on the floor and all down the trashcan. It was disgusting because shmeered wet coffee grinds almost looks like... I'm sorry, I can't say it...use your imagination.

What's the matter with me? I spent the first 30 minutes of the morning cleaning up the kitchen, and I am convinced that I'm never gonna learn