Sunday, June 15, 2008

Practice with Potential.

"I stopped singing in grade school because someone told me I sucked," says my masseuse during my 90 minute massage that accidentally turned into 60 minutes. The words shook me to my core until she said, "I didn't know why I stopped singing until I worked it out in psychic therapy." Um, I hope you can't read minds also because I'm starting to feel mildly uncomfortable laying naked on your table. 40 minutes later and more relaxed then ever, I started contemplating the idea of potential. When is it ok to rely on potential and when is not?

My amazing eye-brow goddess said to me once, "Potential is a mind-f*ck" when referring to our oh so awesome boyfriends. We quickly spiraled into a conversation of how life is too short to be using the phrases: "putting up with" or "he's working on this." I left feeling totally side swiped and blind sighted by potential in a lot of aspects in my life. Always hoping, waiting and wanting in eager anticipation for "something" to happen. Filled with thoughts of "stop waiting" - "don't settle" - "it's never gonna happen" - "things don't change," I walked away feeling more alone then ever.

Yet, I've heard "you've got potential" used to describe myself so many times that I couldn't imagine how things would be if I didn't believe I had it. If I didn't believe that I could change or if I wasn't hopeful, then... oh, I can't even think of the then.

So, I'm not a quitter... sadly, I'm not a quitter. I'm filled with too much hope.

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