You can no longer park on street curbs; you can only parallel park.
Your rent is higher than some mortgages.
You have forgotten how to use a dishwasher. So what, you accidentally put dish soap in the dishwasher and created a mountain high soap sud bath in the kitchen at your sister's house. That's right sister, you just keep believing that the dishwasher malfunctioned causing you to have a FULL clean out without any dishes.
You can no longer sleep with out the sirens, beeping horns and revving motorcycles.
It takes you one hour and forty five minutes to go 5 miles.
You make one wrong turn, and you're in a different country.
You make one wrong turn off an exit, and you're on the bay bridge.
You learn the importance of flipping a b*tch on a one way street.
When parking in a parking lot with out having to pay seems ludicrous.
Driving anywhere becomes a battle field, and you start to thank your lucky stars that you played Mario Cart as a child. Who said video games were good for nothing?
The smell of urine feels like home.
You look forward to a trip to Target.
3 comments:
Oh sister...leave that dreadful place and come back to the burbs with the rest of us normal people.
I'm afraid to say I've only visited San Francisco a handful of times (my amazing cousin Charlotte lives there - she runs Bettys Organics produce delivery service).
I love it there, and it's going to be really difficult for anybody to convince me it's not fantastic.
I guess everybody is going to shout me down and claim London is far better, but London is on my doorstep, so is therefore boring :)
Don't get me wrong, I love San Francisco. But even after you get used to the sirens, the crazy people and smell of urine, it can get to you.
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