We Finally Opened

West Side Story had a seemingly successful opening weekend, despite the mic mishaps, and people greeted me with extreme flattery that I meet with gratitude. I’m starting to come down a little bit from the glory of opening an amazing show which I truly feel privileged to be in this excellent production.

I woke up on Saturday, and I just had to meditate for twenty minutes to remind myself of all the things that tech week jaded for me:

I love love love to do this. I can’t imagine doing anything else, and I’ve worked extremely hard on this production and on this role - EXTREMELY hard. There are singers in this world that will never have the opportunity to sing and act such an incredible role, and I am truly lucky to be here in her shoes playing her role in this destruction of love amongst violence and hate.

Here are my issues: WHO.CARES.WHAT.ANYONE.THINKS. Please, let’s repeat this, WHO.CARES.WHAT.ANYONE.THINKS. This 5 word sentence gets in my own way. I’m so owned by what people think and what people say that I can’t RELAX and it gets in my own way. This reason is probably the number one reason that road blocked me in college because I was so OBSESSED with being perfect, and being RIGHT that I couldn’t enjoy the process of learning all about a new person. All these lessons in college are things I think I have finally learned, but I can’t let go of the negative feels I have towards my experience, which is STILL causing me to get into my own way. I try and think of all the things that will help me deal with this, and I keep debating grad school. Then I think, WHY? Do I want to go to grad school so someone there can tell me that I’m a good actor?

Bottom line: I must find the confidence within myself, otherwise, I’m going to miss out on all the fun.

We got reviewed by the Alameda Sun, and from what I heard the review is good. They don’t update their website daily, so, I haven’t read it yet, but this is an article that they interviewed me for during the rehearsal process.

I gave Maria everything I have inside of me, and that is all I can do. I can’t ask myself to give anything more than my personal best, and if it’s not enough – then it’s not enough, but it’s all I got and I’m happy with it.