Wedding Land

One of Pasha's dear couple friends are getting married....to eachother.
Oh friends, it gets tricky here....

I have been hanging out with these friends for TWO YEARS! That is a long time to spend time with people, and so they asked me to sing in their wedding, which is tomorrow. YAY! It is such an honor and a privilege to be part of such a fantastic wedding for two truly amazing people. The trouble is that they are originally Pasha's friends. Thus, it got a little awkward when I had to be there for the rehearsal yesterday, and I got invited to the rehearsal dinner. "Hey honey, do you want to be my date to your friend's rehearsal dinner?" um, yeah, so, it didn't bode well with him. Especially at the end of the night when he turns to me and says, "Thanks for coming with me." Actually Pasha, you came with me!

Also, Pash and I haven't spent any quality bonding time with each other since our whole fall out. Things feel super strained, and he is more in love with his schedule right now. It's terrible to miss someone who is sitting right next to you in the car.

I asked him to go for a run with me this morning because he is always on me about running with him. I thought, if I wanted to spend anytime with him, then I should do it on his terms. Well, then everyone decided that they all wanted to go jogging this morning, and I sort of got left in the dust. He says, "Why don't you come with us?" WHY? HAVE YOU SEEN THESE PEOPLE? They run all day...everyday. Ok, no...they are very physically fit, and just the other day I watched a pregnant lady with a stroller pass me. Doesn't he understand how humiliating it would be for to watch his friends start walking next to me, while I'm jogging? He says, "Everyone adjusts to the slowest person." Easy for him to say, when he's never been the slowest person. Sure, my issue. my mental block, whatever. I get it, but couldn't he have had a little compassion?

I left his place this morning, and he calls me and says, "One of the girls was only going to go because you were going, and now you're not." Yes, but he didn't mention that this particular girl also came in THIRD place in her division for the bridge to bridge run. Look, I just don't want to be an embarrassment in front of his friends. I already feel like I'm getting put on the spot with the singing. So, now it's 10am on Saturday, and the wedding starts at 4pm. Looks like I'll be sending another Saturday alone.

I'm always alone, and I'm starting to hate it.