Meet Squeaks

I’m obsessed with the show. Just two more runs before an audience and I’m starting to let the nerves and anticipation overcome me. I’m drilling my trouble spots in my sleep, and yet it never seems to be enough, but I promised… no show talk next post… tomorrow will be the prep talk post. It’s just I can hardly think about anything else except my angel.

I have a new addition to the Viljoen household party of one now party of two. As you can see from the picture below I am not the good looking one in the family.

She came to my household on July 2nd 2008, and I am so thrilled to have such a treasure in my life. So far she loves to chase her tale, play with her little jingle ball and hang out peacefully in the bathroom. Sometimes she meows when she freaks out, but trips to the vet have been amazing. Being in her travel case has been a plus since she loves LOVES her travel case. She sleeps in it in the bathroom, and she has been quiet in driving in the car. I hope this lasts. I also hopes she does well meeting people. My whole family is coming into town this weekend, so, I am hoping that will give her a chance to socialize her. She’s so special in every way. I love her dearly.

Find more pictures of her here

Look How Cool This Is

T minus 6 days

Sometimes, I start to have these dreams of being trapped in a cave and being forced to do the show over and over and over and over again.

I had that dream about West Side Story last night. I went to sleep tossing and turning to the music and lyrics of, "when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day." The faint sounds of the orchestra and singers slowly fade in as I type those words, and I slowly slip off my chair to lay beneath the table.

This weekend was tech, and I'm afraid of the balcony. It doesn't look that high up, but its high enough for me to feel fear. I can't hear my entrance the first time I sing in the entire show which ALSO happens to be the hardest part in the ENTIRE show for me to sing. I know... I know... it's weird, but I can't help it. I think I have started to turn it into a mental thing, and I'm doing everything I can to not feel nervous about it and just SING. Ugh. Just get me through this week. I swear, tomorrow - you're going to have a "squeaky" surprise.

Love

My friends and family,

I am so blessed to be so loved, and thank you so much for sharing my special day with me.

Thank you Thank you!

I'm sleeping and standing at the same time.

... and it's July 1st and we are opening in 11 days.

Some days I think, oh it's going to be fab. Other days I want to hide under the table and pray pray pray pray that when I open my mouth the right notes will come out of my mouth. I don't care if it's the right words. Just please please please may it be the right notes. Please. I will do anything!!!! It would be a special bonus if the notes actually sounded GOOD. We are running the show again tonight, but we are doing it without Anita. It threw me off the last time we did it, but this time - I'm ready to be focused.

In other news, today is my last day as a 25 year old. I'm having mixed feelings about it, I'm getting older and going through so much in my life. I want the time to pass, but I also want it to stand still. This time, though, I'm feeling pretty damn loved.

What's the Best Way to Manage Heart Break?

Check into heart break hotel and be the lead in one of the most amazing stories and musicals of all time!

I’ve been blessed to be working so diligently on such a challenging and wonderful role with an incredibly talented cast. I mean really. It’s heart stopping. It’s not possible to be feeling sad about love when you’ve got this amazing tenor singing in your ear lyrics like, “all the world is only you and me.” “today the world was just an address a place for me to live no better than alright, but here you are..” I don’t care if it’s fake, you can not be sad! Ok, so the whole dying thing kinda puts a huge wrench in the whole experience, but nothing’s perfect.

We ran the whole show recently. Each time it gets better, but the Chino scene is still a mess, and I’m still finding so so so much anger and I can’t find the sadness. I keep hoping that it’s going to come, but so much is going on in my mind and my brain that it’s feeling not real. Plus, I have this haunting voice in my heart that keeps reminding me of college, and how I felt so unsuccessful. It’s discouraging. I don’t know. I’m feeling a little bit confused. Plus, I have this other big thought on my brain at the moment.

Should I move to New York in January?

A lot of my theatre friends have slowly jumped off the ship into the big apple, and just today I got an email from one of them that said, “I’m moving to New York in January. Do you know anyone who wants a roommate? Hey, maybe you can be my roommate.” She was probably joking when she wrote it, but it really got me thinking…. Maybe it’s time I move to New York. Sure, I don’t have my card yet. Sure, I could use a couple more big roles, but I’m net getting any younger. Plus, I have no REAL ties here in the bay area except my relationships, and it’s only going to get harder to make the big move.
I’m seriously considering it.

We Ran the Whole Show

We ran the whole show! I didn' t know we were going to go through ACT 2 so I hadn't gone through my script.
So I had to call line a bunch. Ugh! That's annoying. I didn't want to have to call line, but I did. My singing was all off and just messed up.

It's ok.
Next time we do it... it will be better