Bye Bye Bye 2008 you were Great

One of the many benefits of documenting life online is being able to hold myself accountable for goals and "New Year Resolutions." They really should just be called January resolutions because throughout the year life gets in the way and changes things, but I'll remain positive. Let's look at the goals for 2008.

I'd like to blog/write more this year, and become more skilled at the art.

Ok. So I wrote more than 2007, but did it become a more skilled art? Perhaps? There is no measure. Am I happy with this goal? Sure. I feel accomplished in this goal. Do I want to continue to pursue this goal? Sure. I have a feeling that I'll be writing A LOT in the coming months.


I'd like to get at least half of my equity points this year.

I must have been drunk when I wrote this. Better yet, I must have been drunk when I THOUGHT this. Ok, so I DIDN'T get half my equity points, but I did perform in four shows this year, which is HALF of what I did last year, but I did get larger roles this year. All positive. Plus, one of the shows was in an equity house. So, I didn't get half of my points, but this goal is unrealistic! So, do I feel like I failed? Nah. Performing wise this year was extremely successful.


Perhaps get married and have a baby. - I'm so joking...

Uuuuummmm.... I'm really speechless. I can't believe that I wrote this. Well, that isn't entirely true because I'm sure I thought it, but I actually documented it? Then I said - just kidding (not really). I don't really have anything to say about this "goal" except it's lame. My time will come.

So, my 2008 goals WERE LAME! Ok, I should be nice and not judge, but c'mon. Let's get real here those goals that were documented were LAME. How about some real goals for 2009, but here is the tricky thing: I want to set my expectations high as long as I don't beat myself up if I do not "accomplish." I set these goals to motivate myself to encourage myself to be the best me I want to be. With that said, "failure", I welcome you, but I will do my absolute best.

2009 Goals.

1) Get a job in New York.
This is probably more of a Jan. goal, but it's the heaviest thing on my mind right now. Work and audition.

2) Get cast in a show.
This is also heavy in my mind. I'm performing a lot in the bay area, and it's hard to leave the work. I hope and pray for opportunities in NYC.

3) Dance.
I love to dance, but it hasn't come easy. The goal is to get into as many dance classes as possible and become a little more solid in my ability. I'm not terrible, but I need to be more solid.

4) Stay (sigh the obvious one) in Shape.
I did ok during the holidays, but I won't have a gym in NYC at first. I hope to find a safe running regiment to maintain. I'm not sure I will be able to motivate myself. My PT here was amazing. It's true, I was lying on the floor of the gym this morning. I'm not exaggerating I was lying on the floor wanting to die!

6) Maintain my relationships new and old.

7) I'd like to work on my ability to communicate and say what is on my mind. Ask for what I want.

8) Start playing the piano and guitar regularly again.

9) Design, code and launch my website.
I have been putting this off because it feels so narcissistic. I will do it this year.

That's enough right? If I have more, I'll post it.

I'm just glad that this is the first year in three years that I have not brought with me a cold! Thanks exercise and rest!

Ok Getting Closer.

It’s true. I have not updated in a long time, but do you want to know how long and drawn out and how sad things have been as I struggle through the transition of this move?

My last post is still true, but this time I’m watching my life wind down quickly and quietly here in the Bay Area.

Do I Hear A Waltz closed this past Saturday, and my heart grew heavy with goodbyes because it marked the start of all my goodbyes. My friends are trying to squeeze time in for me with the holidays, and each time we see each other there is this tinge of – will this be the last time? I am aware that this move doesn’t have to be forever, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I keep reminding myself that even if I stayed things would be different. I’m looking at the people around me and seeing how their lives are moving forward, growing, changing and it would still be happening even if I was staying here. It is hard to leave comfort for the unknown, and I am finding the courage within myself that I didn’t even know I had. I keep saying over and over and over – if it doesn’t work out, just come home.

Even with that said, I’m feeling like a misfit. I still don’t really have a place. This bouncing around and lack of nesting is making me feel a little “I don’t belong.” I have faith that soon enough everything will fall into place, but the months of dragging on and leading up to this move has been painful. While I’d like to say that I wouldn’t do it again, so many great great great things happened in these past few months that never would have happened if I had left. For that I am grateful, and I am so glad that I stayed despite the fact I feel like I’m dragging my heels.

The Christmas show I worked on simultaneously with Waltz presented a very touching moment in my career. It was great to work with the kids, but also great to work with an amazing director and other amazing acting adults who shared their wisdom in living and experiencing NYC. I also got some great contacts that I will follow up on.

I put in my last invoice yesterday, and a coworker of mine gave me the 2nd Lil’ Wayne cd. It was very touching because I think we’ve had one conversation about how I like Lil’ Wayne, but maybe the fact that I do is so jarring to someone it is hard to forget! The last few days here at work have been great. We’re wrapping up the web project, well, phase 1 at least. So, now I’ve been asked to sing in a video for the company, and it’s been a lot of fun. I’m getting paid to sing!

I’m still trying to figure out what type of job I need to get in New York, but that is going to take some time to figure out. I think I need to spend more time with the people and with the scene.

Ok. That’s it for now.
Merry Christmas.

On vacation...

Stay tuned.

My brain is over working right now. I'm taking a break till Monday then you can hear about how I tripped over a homeless person.

Snow.

I’m sore, and I am getting worse as time passes on. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

I mean, I snowboarded all day on Saturday. I woke up sore on Sunday and proceeded to sit my ass down for the entire day on Sunday, but I woke up sorer today? By this logic, I work out – get sore. I sit on my ass- get sore. Shouldn’t I be receiving the same type of fitness benefits for sitting and working out? It makes sense to me.

We left on Friday afternoon in dreary weather to be greeted with Sunshine and ice-bit air on Friday evening. I soon discovered that there are essentially two kinds of snow weather. The snow weather in April and the snow weather in January. We’re talking a 20- 30 degree difference!!

I wore sweats, three layers, snow pants, snow jacket, gloves, and wool socks (thanks to ash!), and you walked outside –insta bone freeze. So, note to self – get thermals. Really, get your own cloths beverley. Some day – when I’m rich and famous.

Ashley is much better than me. She has been trying to teach me a few skills, but I don’t listen. I just barrel down the hill screaming and hope that I don’t crash into the lodge. Luckily, I didn’t take anyone else. As long as you don’t count getting off the lift because I did take Ash out twice, and I held on to some stranger’s arm and made him take me to the top of the bunny slope. Thanks dude.

Learning to snowboard is so discouraging, but it can be fun…. Until the hotshots come out to play on the bunny slope, and they come so close to you and kick snow in your face, so, you fall flat on your ass, again. That’s alright hotshot you snowboard down as fast as you can, but you’re 10…. After this, I’m gonna drive home and drink a beer. So THERE!

Merry Christmas

Hope the season is bright for all!

I Made It to Florida in One Piece

Remember the days when you could sit at the gate with your loved one until their flight took off? There you could tearfully watch their plane depart, and linger at the door gate for seconds more after their departure. Oh, and remember when picking people up from the airport included a joyful hello right at the moment you stepped off that forsaken plane? I think I miss that the most because only everyone in the world knows just how awful it is to sit on a plane -even for 45 min.

Being able to walk into the gate area with all your cloths on is a close second though. I guess my suspect sweatshirt must be screened because someone has found a way to sew some of something dangerous into the thread of my clothing, and only unsuspecting ME would be wearing that sweatshirt. I'm looking forward to the day where we all have to wear airport onesies, and instead of 3-1-1 (liquid rules) signs splashed all over the place, we'll see: arrive one hour early to change into your airplane onesies.

After I managed to make it through the hose down of the security checkpoint and put all my cloths back on, I made it to the gate to sit and wait for an hour. In my favor, I sat in a window next to two normal sized people, but I did struggle with my usual pass out. I usually can instantaneously fall asleep on a plane, but this time, my knee started aching and I could not get comfortable. Is this a sign of my age? I did manage to fall asleep, but my eyes STRUGGLED to open when the landing annoucement came on at approxiametly 7:10am EST.

WHA? I am NOT supposed to be awake this early. I forced my eyes to remain open eventhough the eye glue begged me to keep them shut. I got off the plane, and found my gate for the next plane and I managed to find the only drunk person in the entire city sitting right next to me.

I know! Who gets drunk at 8am in the morning? I mean REALLY??!?! As he began to run his mouth about all the famous people he knows, what it's like to travel all the time, leaving his wife for his new stewartest girlfriend whom he like to marry, the age of his military song that I would be PERFECT for, how he can upgrade me to first class and how he managed to get drunk at 8:00am in the morning, I slowly stared right through him begging BEGGING to board the plane. Lucky me, he's sitting right in front of me.

I managed to shake him when he started chatting up the blonde girl sitting next to him, so, I decided to put on my sweatshirt hood fully convinced that I would now be shielded by the invisibility property the hood provides. I quickly ducked out of the plane and ran towards the baggage claim to be greeted by the comfort of my family.

I'm looking forward to this holiday.

Holiday Party

Growing up, the very thought of Christmas brought me to a type of ecstatic energy that had my parents peeling my sister and me off the walls. The Christmas cabbage patch tape started playing in September, and the holidays were filled with incrediable food, wonderful company, and days off school.

Now, the holidays are filled with shopping, travel, figuring out what gifts to buy, how much money to spend on each person, holiday dress shopping and not gaining any more weight. (Please read as: stress, stress, stress, stress, stress and stress).

Luckily, I got off the hook on the holiday dress shopping part this year. Pasha’s Christmas party was at the ballpark this year, and there were MANY MANY different rooms and types of activities to participate in. Plus, I got to dress in jeans and a nice top with a warm jacket. This did prove to be a little bit of a problem, when we decided to go inside and dance like crazy. Ice skating at the ball park was a highlight along with the multiple fire pits for smores made the evening a fun filled holiday party that is now behind me. Only 363 days till the next one.

Lazy...

I'm Lazy.

I watched House all day, and I couldn't get my homework to work. Ugh. It's just going to have to be late.

Tomorrow it's back to the salt mines, and I am not feeling recharged. I need three more days. Maybe more.

(sigh) I can't wait for Christmas.

Aw, I'm sad.

My family is leaving today, and I am sad. It never gets any easier being so far away. Don't get my wrong, I am VERY lucky to have TWO families, but it's hard living so far away.

Yes, it's true. I have never LOVED the arguing or wonderful irritations that make families so perfectly dysfunctional. Yet, I miss them terribly, and I wish they lived closer to me. My parents are talking about coming to live in San Francisco, which I think is a FANTASTIC idea. I hope they do.

I know Christmas is just around the corner, and I will get to see them soon enough. However, it's always sad to say good bye.

Oh Man...

I need a vacation from my vacation.

Tonight things are a little bit slower. We spent most of the day down at Union Square in Borders, and then we stayed around for the tree lighting. I'm so tired, but after last night I'm a little afraid to go to sleep because there was a mosquito in my bedroom. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remind me to tell you the stories of my mosquito adventures, and all the torment and misery those blasted tiny little buggers cause me. It's horrible. I might sleep on the couch tonight. Actually. I'm going too.

Gobble Gobble

Man I almost forgot to write. I am so tired!

Dinner went off with out a hitch... I just want to say...

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE COOk FOR FOUR HOURS TO EAT FOR ONE!

Wow, it took so long, and it was so much work. My back hurts and so does my feet!
I am so thankful for my food, family and for my friends.

Ugh. Time for sleep!

T-2 Days

So, we brined the Turkey. YOU SHOULD SEE THE GIZZARDS WE PULLED OUT!!!!!!!!!!

It was so disgusting.

I have so enjoyed having my family here, and I think that Pasha is going to play racket ball with my Dad. I think I'm nervous!!

Now, we're talking about putting together a soccer team 4 against 1....

(i'm giving you the play by play.)

Time to get ready.